Stockholm Diaries

We almost saw nothing of Stockholm, because we spent all three of those days (morning till night) at seminars, hearing people talk about violence against women. I have attended many conferences, but never have I felt as comfortable as I have there, as to my astonishment I discovered the Swedish take off their shoes upon entering an office. For us this was all a bit strange. Although the rule was not mandatory, we soon realized that it was such bliss to sit barefoot in a warm place (and walk around with no shoes in the office), making it easier to listen to any speaker. In general, listening is always useful, but it is especially so when someone is talking to you about reducing violence and while you are also aware that the number of cases of violence against women has increased very much in your own country.

There are so many women subjected to violence in Georgia every year and so many women are killed as a result of domestic conflicts; it is quite difficult to even talk about this problem. However, sometimes there is also violence and discrimination against men in my country (in places where the rule of law is not yet established), but women (often) are abused only because they are women - and there is a very big difference between these causes.

This is why I think that the women (in Georgia) are protected only by women and the voices of men (in this respect) are less heard. There is less change for the better, unfortunately, and the dissheartening statistics prove this.

I was in Stockholm with a group of young Georgian men, who decided to found a women’s rights organization in Georgia and it makes a lot of sense (to me) that this idea belongs to our rugby-players. Participating in the Stockholm seminar with such a decent group of successful people as the Georgian rugby-players was a great honor for me; and men of other professions have also joined this wonderful initiative in Georgia.

Stockholm was not an accidental choice: Sweden is one of the countries leading the world regarding the protection of women’s rights. Sharing the Swedes' experience and taking their advice is not only pleasant, but also necessary if we want to reduce and stop violence in our own country. However, unlike Georgia, people have not consumed quite so many gallons of wine (for decades), proposing toasts to women, and have not been saying (in loud voices) at the Georgian Supra how they are proud of having a cult of women.

Nevertheless, our statistics are very tragic when compared to the Swedish ones. We were also told in Stockholm that unlike us, when they talk about violence against women they necessarily indicate that the perpetrators are men. Indeed, when we talk about the same things in Georgia, without adding this detail, it is only clear that the victim is a woman, while the identity and gender of the perpetrator is not shown at all. However, we may need to emphasize this, because in the country of Shota Rustaveli, where equality was discussed as early as the twelfth century, women were not considered representatives of a weaker sex for precisely the reason of avoiding justifying violence against them by men (however, in this major Georgian book it is the men who cry most of all, although despite this, adults always ridicule little boys in Georgia (who are about to cry) saying that crying is only something that girls do).

It is also sad that often it is women themselves who provide excuses for the mistreatment of women and who do not often speak out about domestic violence. They endure physical and psychological violence for their entire life from their husbands, or a male partner.

The only thing I did manage to see in Stockholm, was an amazing museum of Astrid Lindgren, which also had a wonderful shop, but even there I failed to find a Karlsson souvenir (which I have been looking for, for a long time) and eventually I became confident that Karlsson, being a thief of jam, is just an ordinary criminal for the Swedish, which explains why there is no souvenir of Karlson. For us it is hard to believe this, or to explain or understand it, because when Karlsson was stealing jam, we would see this as an ordinary thing; moreover, we were crazy about Karlsson and I love him sincerely, the same way I did when I was a child, many years ago. However, maybe it is no accident that there is only one letter that differentiates the two Georgian words, "robber (ყაჩაღი - kachagi)" and "adventurous (ყოჩაღი - kochagi)".

Maybe the main problem is to be found in bad education, when we, the adults, make mistakes when a child's perception is developing, making it impossible to rectify afterwards, and therefore by our silence or passive attitudes, we become accomplices in a crime called violence against women...

Dato Turashvili

20 November, 2015